Forgive me Father, for I have sinned....

It has been many weeks since my last blog entry (well, not counting the last one.) In the time since my last entry, a sister that was not a doctor now is. A brother who had a home is now homeless. New friends have been made. Family has moved from the west to the east. And baby - the pounds are going south!

Yet another book has influenced my life. This time, aside from finally clarifying in my mind much of the nutritional information that was kind of floating aimlessly up there, I had a weight loss light bulb. The only time I have ever tried to lose weight was after Dexter. Okay, I did go on a diet in grade eight, but it probably wasn't necessary. Since I was skinny back then. Unlike the first two pregnancies, the weight did not exit politely - nine months on, nine months off. In fact, it rudely stuck around, clinging for dear life to hips and belly. I lost my mind for a bit, and actually tried the low carb thing. Luckily, I regained my sanity, and slowly the weight came off. I am actually thirty pounds lighter now than at that point.

Which is great, right? Well, maybe not so great as I think it is. Maybe I have been tricking myself all along about how overweight I was. And maybe when study after study shows that even a slight amount of extra weight can be hazardous to your health, maybe an ideal weight of twenty pounds over what the experts say is not actually ideal. In fact, maybe my ideal weight is what the experts would say, not what my own excuse-laden mind wants it to be (I mean, look at the size of my wrists. My breasts. I'm just big boned, that's all. Those weight guidelines aren't for people built like me, they are for those other, more normal people). Maybe, for once, just this once, the experts are right. So, I'm trying that on for size. Size 10, actually. I figure that's what I would be if I actually got in the middle of my BMI range. And since I haven't worn size 10 since maybe - oh, grade 10 - it was a big mind shift.

So, I now have weight goals as well as running goals. And I suppose, shopping goals. Since none of my clothes will fit by Christmas.